Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

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(310): View more from California

The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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(214): View more from Texas

Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

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(214): View more from Texas

And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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(734): View more from Michigan

I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets

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(231): View more from Michigan

of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing

(231): View more from Michigan

how legible are my texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇

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