So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I queefed so loud it echoed.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
