My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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