Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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