He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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