Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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