another moral hangover. fuck.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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