I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
