Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
