The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were trust falling into bushes
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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