I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
