Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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