She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
