I'm jealous of your bromance
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
