mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
