Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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