Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
handjob tips. give me some.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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