I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i think i scared a bird with my dick
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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