I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
