The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
