it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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