Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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