some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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