Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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