I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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