apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I got inside last night via doggy door
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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