"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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