im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
