Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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