Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
two words: eviction party
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
