Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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