Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
