I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
worst night to have a conscience
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize