almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
