How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
worst night to have a conscience
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
