there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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