That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
