end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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