That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
