Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize