Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love you. Go after that dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
