Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
