i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
