this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
