butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
