oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
