I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize