I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
