I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
