Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
