How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
