dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
