how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
