My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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