i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
