ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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