let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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