how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
