im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
