He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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