My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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