I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
