I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We're too hungover to prance.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
