when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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