This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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