note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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