Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
