I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
