you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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